July 2, 2008

That Mood.

I have a best friend. Her name is Christi.
She and I have been friends since I was 14 years old.
Wow, Christi! We're quickly closing in on a decade. How did that happen?

I don't know if either of us can quite pin down the exact circumstance that brought us together. We were in the same class in 9th grade in a tiny Christian school. That must have had something to do with it. But I think it was a series of circumstances that glued us together. And when I say glue, I mean glue.
Our Freshman year we were pretty much the same person and on top of that we were in love with ourselves.

Last night Christi and I went shopping together and I started to get in "that mood." Not "the mood." That Mood.
Even when Christi and I were in the early stages of our best friendment, for whatever reason, when I was with Christi I would often get into the goofiest, giggliest, silliest, weirdest mood. I think it's my true self that I hide deep in my soul because I'm afraid if I show anyone else what I'm really like they won't love me anymore. And we're not just talking silly mood. I feel like a different person.
It's like...I actually think I'm funny.
Well, I mean, I seem to always be cracking myself up...but I'm also well aware of the fact that the average person will find me strange and completely un-funny. I used to experience deep sorrow that the only time I made Daniel laugh was when he was laughing AT me. But I've come to accept who I am. I'm okay with being laughed at.
And on the rare occasion when he actually laughs at something I say or do when I'm intending to be funny, I stop everything and announce, "Look! Look! You're laughing at me! You think I'm funny!"
But it's not like I have some kind of emotional issue about it. Puh-leeze!

I interrupt this post to inform you that my grandfather has just emailed me a couple of letters written by Yours Truly at a very young age. One of them was an anniversary card. I can't see the front of it, but I think I drew a picture of a girl holding her hiney and looking distressed.
On the inside I wrote:
"Girl on front: Well when I was playing baseball
I sort of you know...sort of ripped my pants!
Anyway, don't mind that! It's your anniversary!
Have a Happy One!"
(I even added those italics...)

Then I drew a picture of a bird and drew hearts for the wings and tail-feathers and called it, "The Lovebird."

Then I continued:
"Dear G&G,
I'm so glad you guys got married
you know why? Because if you didn't
I (myself) wouldn't be here!
Well, anyway...
Happy Anniversary!
Love, Karen"

See? I even thought I was funny back then, too. I can just see myself sitting at my school desk hiss-laughing at myself.


I still do that.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. You got in that mood a lot in mid-high too. Yippee. I remember all those highly successful mid-high youth group meetings with you, Amy, Melissa, Vanessa, etc., driving me crazy. Oh, thank God for growing up and having the ability to choose your "moods"!-- Kari