January 3, 2011

new year

Hello my friends!
You may realize I only write here when I feel inspired to do so. Daniel has told me many times I should pursue blogging more seriously, but I tell him, then I'd have to commit. And I'm just not there right now.

But I am here now. I've been missing my little blogspot, but haven't known what to say.

Today I sat down on the couch, having vacuumed the house, mopped the floors, rotated the laundry, planned our dinner menu for the week, and completed the necessary grocery shopping, so I decided to fiddle with my blog. It started with a little tweaking here and there, and suddenly I was ready to write!

While I haven't been blogging, I've been doing things I love to do. I've wandered around my favorite blogs and found new blogs to love. I've been reading and knitting. Praying and meditating. Exercising and cooking. Loving and dreaming. Which leads me to my big, huge, amazing resolution.

Lately I've had a growing desire to figure out just who exactly I am. I don't want to be someone who likes or believes or loves or wants something just because I'm told to, or because someone else does. I want to truly know myself. To have conviction, and a reason for my conviction.
And I want to know why I am the way I am, as much as I can know.
You know, introspection.

 But the more I think about it, the more I realize that the more selfish I am, the less I know. The more internally concerned and consumed I become, the less I see.

It's become clear to me that, for me at least, knowing myself involves learning about the world around me. Studying people, places, thoughts, books, truth, beauty. Heady stuff.
Where there is one point of view, there is always another. And while I'm not seeking to believe all points of view, I think it is important to look at things from different angles. To keep an open mind. To be gentle as a dove, but wise as a serpent.
I want to see.
You know, see.

So here I am, 2011, ready to figure a few things out.

This year, I want to...
read the Scriptures more consistently, meditating on the words and passages.
abide with Christ, know his peace.
pray with diligence and honesty
recognize and repent of sin
spend more time out doors
reflect on all that I have, and less on what I want
live in thankfulness
speak kind words
love through service
see need, and do something about it
set to the work of my hands without grumbling or complaining
know my husband better
learn to sew
knit more
smile more
love. more.

and perhaps...write more.

Photo: weheartit blog.

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