new year

Hello my friends!
You may realize I only write here when I feel inspired to do so. Daniel has told me many times I should pursue blogging more seriously, but I tell him, then I'd have to commit. And I'm just not there right now.

But I am here now. I've been missing my little blogspot, but haven't known what to say.

Today I sat down on the couch, having vacuumed the house, mopped the floors, rotated the laundry, planned our dinner menu for the week, and completed the necessary grocery shopping, so I decided to fiddle with my blog. It started with a little tweaking here and there, and suddenly I was ready to write!

While I haven't been blogging, I've been doing things I love to do. I've wandered around my favorite blogs and found new blogs to love. I've been reading and knitting. Praying and meditating. Exercising and cooking. Loving and dreaming. Which leads me to my big, huge, amazing resolution.

Lately I've had a growing desire to figure out just who exactly I am. I don't want to be someone who likes or believes or loves or wants something just because I'm told to, or because someone else does. I want to truly know myself. To have conviction, and a reason for my conviction.
And I want to know why I am the way I am, as much as I can know.
You know, introspection.

 But the more I think about it, the more I realize that the more selfish I am, the less I know. The more internally concerned and consumed I become, the less I see.

It's become clear to me that, for me at least, knowing myself involves learning about the world around me. Studying people, places, thoughts, books, truth, beauty. Heady stuff.
Where there is one point of view, there is always another. And while I'm not seeking to believe all points of view, I think it is important to look at things from different angles. To keep an open mind. To be gentle as a dove, but wise as a serpent.
I want to see.
You know, see.


So here I am, 2011, ready to figure a few things out.

This year, I want to...
read the Scriptures more consistently, meditating on the words and passages.
abide with Christ, know his peace.
pray with diligence and honesty
recognize and repent of sin
spend more time out doors
reflect on all that I have, and less on what I want
live in thankfulness
speak kind words
love through service
see need, and do something about it
set to the work of my hands without grumbling or complaining
know my husband better
learn to sew
knit more
smile more
love. more.


and perhaps...write more.

Photo: weheartit blog.

because I didn't want to sweat.

{via flickr}

When I was a young child I declined to participate in strenuous athletic activity. Because I didn't want to sweat.
At least, that's what I've been told.

Perhaps I might have been a ballet prodigy. I guess we'll never know.

I have always loved watching ballet. Sleeping Beauty was one of my favorite movies and I thought the ballet was beautiful. Over the years my father and mother occasionally took me to see the ballet. Once I saw Cinderella, Madam Butterfly; I saw The Nutcracker many times. The strength and power and grace of the dancers was thrilling to me. They looked so beautiful! I loved going to the ballet and hearing the light tapping of the dancer's ballet shoes on the wooden stage flooring as they leapt and twirled. The women were slender, feminine and beautiful. The men were gracefully strong and sturdy, yet masculine (most of the time).
More recently I've been thinking about posture and grace in movement. Not just in dance, but in every day life. I read an article in Vogue (I love Vogue, as we've discussed. Oh, the photographs! The fashion!) about the importance of good posture. Not only for one's health, but a person's posture can say so much about them and how they want to be seen by others. As I've been looking through portraits on The Sartorialist blog, this has become even more clear to me.
As an example of what I mean:

{via The Sartorialist}

This woman is a burlesque dancer. Can't you tell?

On his blog, the photographer remarked that her "posture speaks volumes about who she is and how she wants to be perceived." 

I love that! And there's a small part of me that has always wanted to be a natural red head. And wear bright red lipstick. 

{via The Sartorialist}

That last picture was taken during the 1930s in Spain. Isn't she just so...European? People say it all the time, but it's interesting how clothing goes in and out of style. She looks like she's been shopping at Anthropologie!

But where was I?

Ballet.

I feel it must be said before I say anything further, I have little to no musicality. I have trouble keeping with the beat in songs, I look a little nutty when I dance (not like Elaine from Seinfield or anything), I think I'm slightly tone deaf. And my posture is not so good. About five years ago I started doing Pilates and in the last two years I've done Yoga off and on, and I think that has improved my posture somewhat. But it isn't stellar. And I wouldn't call any movement that I make graceful. I'm a little clumsy and heavy-footed.

In high school I joined the volleyball team. It was my first attempt at organized sports, and I did it because playing volleyball was popular. The first year I made the Junior Varsity team, which I felt was a major blow to my confidence. I was an athletic person, though I'll grant I was not very talented or coordinated. And the other girls on the JV team were just not...very...athletic. The Varsity girls were good. Everyone knew it.

JV was an afterthought.

I'll probably tell a story or two about high school volleyball some day, but my point in bringing it up today is this: I learned to sweat. Have you ever participated in a Summer Volleyball camp? I have still never been that sore in my life. We started early in the morning every day and sweated our way through four hours of intense training. And if you were late you ran laps...and some times the coach forgot about you and you spent two hours running laps. I don't want to talk about it.

So now, with my love of ballet and desire for graceful movement and good posture, along with my willingness to allow sweat to escape my epidermis, I am prepared to do something quite drastic.

I'm going to dance.

Well, perhaps that's a stretch.

I'm going to take a ballet class.

Normally I say I'm going to do these things and then put it off until finally I forget about it (I'm not the only one--once I got a "birthday present" from Daniel that was a promise to take dance lessons with me. It's been four years and I'm not holding my breath). But this time, I emailed Vicki at Ballet Austin and said: Teach me to dance like a Sugar Plum Fairy!

She said: sign up for a class and give us some money, you weirdo.

It was very inspiring.

But I haven't quite gotten to that step yet.

I was happy to learn from Vicki that they offer a "New Beginner" ballet class for adults. Part of me wants to go just to see the kind of people that are grasping hold of their dreams a little late in life like me. Part of me is completely intimidated by the idea of doing something I've never done before. Part of me is totally excited and can't wait to start. I've always wanted to say, "Sorry, I've got ballet class tonight. Rain check?" I've also always wanted to take part in a dramatic dance-off (Me and my posse can pirhouette you under the table, homey!).

That probably won't happen in beginner ballet (or..anywhere but Step It Up?). But I can dream.

I'm a big dreamer, guys.

I don't have any illusions of grandeur (it is illusions or delusions? Either way, I don't have them. Of grandeur.). I don't think I'll ever really be the Sugar Plum Fairy. Or even a mouse (a little ballet humor). I just want to dance. Is that so wrong?

P.S.

The cheesecake didn't taste like a disaster. It just looked like one.

Daniel: Uh, Honey? I think the cheesecake exploded?

I guess I'm no Pioneer Woman.

Best Kind of Busy

As you may have noticed, if you still hang around these parts, updating the blog has taken a backseat in the life of this blogger. I haven't even had time to visit my favorite blogs and leave silly comments!
I'm not too bothered by it, though. While I've not been blogging, I've been spending time with my family. My family that lives overseas in the far away land of Slovakia, shining the light of Christ through lives of service and love. Though I absolutely, without a doubt, fully and happily support this great work they've been called to, my-oh-my do I miss them. Last week was pure heaven for me. My entire family was under one roof, inhabiting my house and bringing joy to my heart!
My brothers are becoming men more and more each time I see them. I'm so impressed with their maturity and kindness--and the fact that they are hovering over 6' now. It further confirms to me the grace of God in the lives of my family. My parents have taught us the meaning of seeking to know and serve the Lord.
By now my dad is back in Slovakia, my mom and brothers are still here. Last night my brothers and I ate dinner at Galaxy Cafe, consumed a massive amount of frozen yogurt, rocked out to music in the car, and laughed a lot. Next weekend my mom will be back in Austin and I can hardly wait. They may look to you like an ordinary family (well, maybe not), but underneath that normal exterior (ha) they are the best, most wonderful people currently living. And I am just lucky to be related to them. I think sometimes their fantastic-ness rubs off on me. I hope.
I have some fun pictures on my camera, but when I go home and my brothers are there I can't bear to sit at the computer and upload pictures. Soon enough, though it pains me to think of it, they'll be gone and there will be time for all of that. I might also roam aimlessly around the empty house and walk through the rooms where they stayed. I might be a little melodramatic. I might cry. I might have done all that already when they left on Sunday afternoon. Possibly.
I hate saying goodbye.

But we're not going to talk about that right now.
Right now, I'll tell you that my presence around here might continue to be scarce for a couple of weeks as I soak up as many precious moments with my favorite people on earth as I can.

Right now, I'll also tell you that I'm listening to the Jon Foreman station on Pandora every day and loving it.
Right now I'm thinking about the fruits of the Spirit, and praying that today the fruit that my life brings forth is a witness to the hope I have in Christ. A witness that my Source of life is the Spirit.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

Buttercup Days

{via}

By A. A. Milne

Where is Anne?

Head above the buttercups,

Walking by the stream,

Down among the buttercups.

Where is Anne?

Walking with her man,

Lost in a dream,

Lost among the buttercups.

What has she got in that little brown head?

Wonderful thoughts which can never be said.

What has she got in that firm little fist of hers?

Somebody's thumb, and it feels like Christopher's.

Where is Anne?

Close to her man.

Brown head, gold head,

In and out the buttercups.

Restless.

Princess Wiggles.

Last night I tossed and turned.
My mind simply would not turn off.
All weekend I'd worked around the house. I had a great time moving from room to room, organizing and arranging, but I was exhausted. If it weren't for my racing thoughts I would have easily drifted off into oblivion. But I was wide awake.
Part of it is pure excitement. My parents and brothers are coming to the states this very week. Also, I had been seriously stressing out about their cancelled British Airways flights due to all the strikes (fingers still crossed about this one, also praying like crazy--we're not in the safe zone until they leave London on Wednesday). I was going through checklists in my head of all I would like to get done before they arrive.
Monday night: Clean the bathrooms. Really clean
Tuesday night: Vacuum the house, scrub the downstairs tile
Wednesday night: Go walking with Kristin, eat dinner at Zocalo with Daniel because I have a Groupon! Have a nice time.
Thursday night: Pack my bags for the weekend, bake, and bake some more.  

Then, of course, I had to take into account the fact that I'll be at work all week long. It's so hard to focus on work when you'd rather be goofing off! Right?!
I'm restless at night, I'm restless at work. I'm ready for my family to be here.

I can't even think straight right now. That might have something to do with the fact that I hardly slept last night. Hopefully I'll settle down this evening. Maybe have a glass of wine after I scrub the bathrooms.

Hurry, Friday!!!

An Ode.

(Ethan, Daniel, and Kristian - Summer 2008)

In just a few short weeks, I will see my baby big brothers again. In case you didn't know, they live in Slovakia and I don't see them very often. They've changed a lot since 2008 (although I've seen them since then).

They are kind of starting to look like men.

Weird.

(Christmas 2009)

I'm kind of super excited to see them.

And I'm also kind of super excited to see my mom and dad (also living in Slovakia as missionaries).

Good times.

In other news.

Dear New Mexico,

I love you. And I can't wait to feel your dry air and cool desert nights.

You are quite the secret-keeper. I discovered just yesterday that I will see a dear childhood friend this weekend, with whom I share some of my greatest New Mexico memories. The last time we were together was at her wedding in 2008. It's been a while. Now we are both old, married women.

I'm ecstatic.

(myself and Amy at her rehearsal dinner, 2008)

New Mexico, we will always have a special connection. You with your purple mountains and piercing blue skies, you represent something so dear to my heart. With you I spent my happy childhood years, building forts in the desert and pretending I was married to a Disney prince (I never could have guessed I would actually marry a Disney prince!). I will never forget driving down dirt roads in the old Toyota Land Cruiser at night, thinking that the coyotes I heard howling were going to come and snatch me right out of the back seat. I will always remember peering into a  pillowcase, wondering what creature Dad brought home from the desert. I often think back fondly on camping in Aguirre Springs and catching lizards with fishing poles.  I can picture in my mind, running through desert arroyos in the summer outside my grandparents' house with my older brother Nicholas. I remember quail, whiptails, road runners, kangaroo rats, jackrabbits, and skinks.

I love you despite all the slow drivers. I don't care what anyone says, I think you are grand.

Grande, in fact.

I'll see you in the morning.

Sincerely,

kg

On Getting Older

I am thinking about the years to come today.
I've never been one to get depressed about the anniversary of my birth marking another year gone by. I'm thankful for the years of life and hope to see many more years of happiness and love, family and friends, even bitterness and grief. I read a post on Cjane's blog this morning written by a husband on supporting his wife through the loss of their child (she was seven months pregnant). He said simply at one point, It’s difficult to know the sweet without the bitter.
This morning I've been thinking about the moments of grief in my life and how I, as one who hopes in Christ, have faced those moments. While I've had my times of weakness in the face of difficulties, I have also found precious moments in "being still." I love that verse in the Bible. Grief is something so important in our lives, I think. Yes, we should have hope and joy. But I don't think that means we wont be confronted with sorrow. Or that it is wrong to experience grief and sorrow.
In sorrow I've found purpose and growth, beauty from ashes, dancing from mourning. The pain from those experiences remains, but it has become a part of who I am and changed my life and faith in so many ways.
I believe it is possible to know sweetness in life without bitterness. But I know that the bitterness and grief have deeply changed and will change how I know and experience joy.
I know this is kind of a heavy post. But today, on my birthday, my prayer is that I will better come to know the meaning of long-suffering, remembering what has been done for me through Christ and the promise of daily mercies and grace I cling to in his name.
I read a devotional this morning by Elizabeth Elliot, and she put perfectly what is in my mind this morning,
When Jesus hung on a cross, the challenge was flung at Him: Come down! He stayed nailed, not so that spectators would be satisfied (that miracle, his coming down, would have been a great crowd-pleaser), but that the world might be saved.


Many of our prayers are directed toward the quick and easy solution. Long-suffering is sometimes the only means by which the greater glory of God will be served, and this is, for the moment, invisible. We must persist in faith. God has a splendid purpose. Believe in order to see it.


"Our troubles are slight and short-lived, and their outcome an eternal glory which outweighs them far. Meanwhile our eyes are fixed, not on the things that are seen, but on the things that are unseen" (2 Cor 4:17, 18 NEB).

New Calvinism?

I thought this pertained in some way to my little movie review of Whatever Works.
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2010/0327/Christian-faith-Calvinism-is-back

I loved reading this! There were a lot of interesting bits, but I selected a few blurbs that I liked.
If you have a moment you should read the article!

"By most logic, the stern system of Calvinism shouldn't be popular today. Much of modern Christianity preaches a comforting Home Depot theology: You can do it. We can help. Epitomized by popular titles like Joel Osteen's "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential," this message of self-fulfillment through Christian commitment attracts followers in huge numbers."

"What critics see as a grim and fatalistic doctrine, however, Calvin saw as good news: that God's purposes can be fulfilled despite man's sinful ways."

"The BlackBerry-wielding Millennials who worship here say they crave teaching that challenges them – "preaching for PhDs," as one puts it. Ask them what books they're reading, and they won't mention "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." They'll reel through names of 17th-century Puritan preachers like a pack of baseball cards."


"New Calvinists talk about their sin a lot. Despite that – or rather because of it – they exude not guilt but great joy. Their explanation: If we play down our sinfulness, we'll play down our gratitude for the magnitude of God's love and forgiveness."

Can we talk?

I have a million things on my mind today. So I decided I would blog and just hope that whatever I write comes out making some sort of sense.

But since when has that ever been the status quo around these parts?

I can answer that. Never.

Did you know I used to have a tan?

Yeah, well. Not anymore.

Also, my obsession with Simon & Garfunkel has blossomed into a long term relationship that no one understands. I'm listening to Cecilia as we speak. I mean...as I write.

In addition, I've been wistful lately. And when I say that, I mean I've been missing several people that used to be major in my life, but have fallen into minor places. I also mean full of longing or desire tinged with melancholy. Yes, I looked up the word wistful. Leave me alone.
No! Stay.
Anyway. These people have become "minor" not because I wanted them to, but because the courses of our lives have created distance. A little over a year ago it was not uncommon to find Daniel and I spending hours and hours and hours with our friends Jordan and Bianca. Despite the fact that they were busy with Jordan in law school and work, Bianca raising two young children, pregnant with their third, etc. they still opened their hearts and home to us constantly. They showed us what true hospitality looks like, and were there for us during many ups and downs.
Sometimes I would go over to their house after work and spend the evening by Bianca's side. Together we cooked dinner, bathed the kids, read them a bedtime story, and all the while I soaked in Bianca's wisdom and sweet spirit. She talked to me about her struggles when she was newlywed and shared with me the joys of working at a relationship. I loved sitting at her kitchen island, cutting up tomatoes and onions, and talking for hours. As a young newlywed, I was a volatile, dangerous, confused creature. I needed guidance often and she was someone I respected, who I could be honest with, and who was (most importantly) blatantly honest with me.
Even when I needed to hear that I was being unfair, silly, or just plain crazy. And she taught me a lot about respecting my husband.

What's that? you say, YOU? Disrespectful? Alas, underneath this delicate, sweet exterior lies a dormant brash, obstinate, impudent, sometimes militant witch that seeks to cut me off at every turn. She's a sly creature. Though, she knows how to charm Daniel. They've been old friends these many years. You know, like Mr. Bennet and Mrs. Bennet's nerves.

And I wasn't the only one who felt this way about them. I was always amazed at how easily they welcomed people into their family and made them feel loved.
They haven't changed. But when Jordan graduated from law school, opportunity moved them to Houston. And there they are. And here we are. And I miss them. There's a little Jordan and Bianca shaped hole in my heart.

The other friend I miss is Christi.
Christi, my dear, darling friend, I know you've been having fun in Las Vegas. And I don't think you read my blog anymore (since you've abandoned yours and I wish you would blog again!!). But I haven't seen you in a trillion years and I miss you. I will call you when my phone is not dead. I want to know the details of your life. Nitty gritty included.

Penultimately, I would like to express my anger about the fact that today is Wednesday.
People walk around saying "hump day" and "half way there!" and all day I've been thinking it was Thursday.
Not cool. I would be very happy if tomorrow were Friday. But I would also be stressed because I have so. much. laundry. to. do. And I need to vacuum. And I really need to grocery shop. And I could really use a workout.
Want to come over and be my slave? Without pay? You can do all my work and then we can sip wine in my clean, well-stocked house.

As a final note, I would like you to comment on this post. Tell me something random and entertaining. Or three things very dull indeed. Name that movie.

But that would imply you were still here, reading this, and I have my doubts about that.

Grace Upon Grace

My dear friends, I have been indisposed in the most dreadful of ways.
Forgive me.

It has been a long but short week. My life over the last seven days is a dreadful blur and a crisp, clear nightmare all at once! But I am well. I am alive. I am loved and blessed and amazed and thankful and happy and joyful and pensive and foolish and silly and different and new and the same as I ever was.
Yesterday was my first day out of the house in several days.
I went to work and then went home. I was very tired due to all that I had been through in the previous several days, but I felt good. This weekend was daylight savings, giving me an extra hour of sunshine in the evening after getting home from work.
I went outside on the back porch, stretched out on the warm pavement and watched my stinky dogs roll in the dirt. I also saw Spring.
I looked up at the gorgeous blue sky and smelled the growing buds and blooms on the trees and felt like I was in heaven. We stayed outside for quite some time.
I'm not sure why, but something possesses my dogs around this time of year. They don't really do it at any other time of year. But in the warm weather they can't resist rolling their tubby little bodies in the dry dirt.
So I sat on the steps with a brush and waited for them to get within grabbing distance so I could scoop them up and brush the leaves and grass out of their hair.
They loved it.
And then they'd scamper off just to roll in the dirt again.
It was so fun.
Daniel came home and I realized it was nearly 7:30. I couldn't believe how quickly the evening went by!
My mind was in such a sweet place all evening. I know it had something to do with the sunshine and the cool, fresh air.
We decided to head over to Clarksville for dinner and dine alfresco at Zocalo under the twinkle lights.
I piddled around so much that we ended up at Zocalo around 9 PM for a late dinner. We treated ourselves to a couple of frozen Sangrias and went to sit outside but it was too chilly for us! So we sat in the nearly empty indoors at a small white table simply decorated with glowing candles and fresh flowers in a small vase.
For a while we sat and ate and drank while my husband charmed me and made me smile and sigh contentedly. Meanwhile I admired his handsome face and touched his hands and thought how much I like his wavy hair. He's so dashing.
It was such a beautiful night!
Being in Clarksville in the beautiful Texas Spring is so magical to me. It is such a quiet place, despite the fact that it sits right in the middle of the city. The houses are small and quaint and old. People are walking everywhere and the streets are lined with old-fashioned markets, gardens, a quiet coffee shop, and romantic restaurants with twinkling lights and vines crawling on the walls. Sometimes an old TV repair shop will play movies projected on their building wall in their parking lot. It is a neighborhood Daniel and I often haunt during the warmer months.
I felt a sweet peace and quiet deep in my heart and I sighed many a contented sigh.

After dinner we drove over to Central Market for some plastic bags and a bottle of wine, because we're romantic like that.

It was getting late, so when we got home I slipped into bed. Sunday evening I slept horribly because my mind would not quit. Every time I closed my eyes I relived something terrible and I couldn't rest at all.
So last night I asked Daniel to read Scriptures to me as I went to sleep. He read, and we wondered briefly to each other why Jesus put his spit on people on different occasions in the Bible. Neither of us could really think of any good reason.
And then I went to sleep, safe in the arms of my love.

"For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace."

John 1:16

i feel old.

I almost could not get out of bed today.

I was frozen in relaxation. My muscles were at rest. And the slightest tension or movement sent shooting pains up and down my gluteus maximus. And probably my gluteus medius as well. But mostly the maximus.

I thought to myself, Am I paralyzed? Why am I in so much pain right now?

And then I realized. P90X. P.90.X.

I managed to force myself out of bed with minimal cries of pain. This, fortunately, didn't disturb my dear, sleeping husband who has the day off today. Then I hobbled into the bathroom and stood as still as I could while I brushed my teeth and put on my make-up (kidding! You know I don't wear make-up!).

Last night when I was doing Cardio X I felt good. The yoga moves were stretching out my sore muscles and it was such goooooood pain. And afterwards I thought, that was good. I think I'll feel better tomorrow.

But today. Today is not better.

I can't walk. I am waddling. My hiney hurts so bad that I'm uncomfortable sitting down. My legs are so sore that I'm uncomfortable standing up. My arms are so sore that it hurts to lift or move anything. My neck just...hurts.

I think this is a sign that I need to drink and drink and drink lots and lots and lots of water.

Oh, the pain.

But I must keep going. Because all this pain means I'm doing something right! And something wrong--not drinking enough water. And maybe I should invest in a muscle-recovery drink.

Does this mean I am getting old?

*Tomorrow I am taking a half day to start work on the prototype (as Daniel calls it). I know. So romantic.
I'll take pictures of the progress.

i guess i'm in the wrong line of work.

I just took a "Color Career Counselor" quiz. It was fun. And kind of hard for me, actually.
Here are my results:
Best Occupational Category

You're a CREATOR


Keywords


Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional


These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.


CREATOR OCCUPATIONS


Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.


CREATOR WORKPLACES


Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.


Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

Well, I'm definitely emotional. But in the most inappropriate ways. And I pretend that I'm not.

Daniel has never been fooled by this and it makes me crazy. He is sensitive to my emotions, though. Sometimes.

I like how under the "Creator Occupations" there are words like, director, designer, executive.
I day dream about being a writer. But mostly because I'm lazy. I walk into Once Over in the mornings and see people lined at the bar with their multi-colored Apple notebooks and I tell myself that they are freelance writers and have more fun than me.
When I was younger I thought I wanted to be an Editor. But I don't even know what that means. To me it means that I would be a picky reader with manuscripts being thrown at me all day long. I would drink more espresso and live in a trendy apartment with large windows and I'd take breaks from reading and editing to run on Town Lake in the middle of the day. I'd shop at Whole Foods and cook like a gourmet and drink red wine (blech) out of wide glasses with long stems.

What I really, really want to be is barefoot and pregnant. But I'll wear shoes when I'm a mommy and take my baby out in the jogging stroller. I refuse to be fat. Despite the fact that I chased my workout last night with a brownie...but I digress. Daniel likes this idea too. We are totally on the same page.
I'm working on it.
Although I think he wants me to be a famous blogger, too.
I'm working on that as well. As if you couldn't tell, my dear three readers.

Oh, dreams. It's good to dream.

Random Thursday

I am currently completely addicted to the following websites:

Cardigan Empire.

Reachel Bagley, stylist, is responsible for this wonderful blog! She's got me digging "shopping" through my closet, finding old gems and throwing out stuff that is completely unacceptable (you'd be surprised). I also appreciate that she demonstrates style for all shapes - and emphasizes modesty. She's even linked websites on her page that are online clothing stores designed specifically for the modest shopper.
Also, I love that she loves and appreciates the beauty of being feminine. It's fun to be a girl :)
She also pointed me to this website:


and

Shade Clothing

Modest is hottest, ladies. Make no mistake - for all our sakes.

I spend altogether way, way too much time on this website:


I have wish lists. With lots of things on them that I can't afford.

...

Furthermore. I would like to ask something.

Is this legal??

(I would like to add that his daddy titled this picture, "Manipulation")

I love the facial expression! Ha ha.

...

And lastly...
It is very cold in Austin. It's in the 30s but it is blustery outside, causing it to feel like the low 20s.
I prayed for a snow day, but it's very dry. No moisture here.

Last night Daniel and I wrapped up in a blanket (like a bug in a rug), laid on our bed and talked and laughed about our day. It was heaven on earth. I don't mind the cold so much.

Image Issues.

Last month we learned some terrible news.

Fletcher is overweight.

Two pounds overweight. And when you weigh a total of ten pounds, that's never easy to hear.

I think he looks like he's crying here?

He can't even look at the camera. "Please try to get a slimming angle..."

We're trying to keep him on some sort of diet. He's got some joint issues in his back legs that keep him from being as active as he might normally be. So he just gets kind of chubby. Daniel and I have started calling him, "The Goat" because he sort of resembles one. He's got a chubby, stubby body and his legs are skinny, and he's just...goat-like.

And this, this is my baby:

Oh, Kingsley.
I try not to show favoritism. I love both of my puppies.

But will you just look at that face?!

Poor, poor Fletcher.

By the way. This is where all the magic happens:

You may notice that the drawers have no handles. And you would be correct in that assessment.
I don't complain, though. Daniel found me a desk for $5.00 on Craiglist, painted it the same color as my Anthropologie card, and I am a happy camper.

He.

This is my charming, handsome husband Daniel.

He likes to wear Daniel Cremieux shirts. Or pants. Or jackets. Or ties.

He also likes to wear $10.00 canvas shoes from Wal-Mart. I think he used to get them from Academy, but they started printed a visible label somewhere on the shoe. And he just couldn't handle that.

He works in Texas politics and he's very passionate about his job. Sometimes he gets me really fired up about things. Like last night, as I was drifting off into a peaceful slumber, he started telling me about this evil Texas politician in Tarrant county. Then my blood pressure started rising and I had to rant. I always wonder why I can never get to bed early, no matter what I do.

He also likes to scare me in the shower. I try to tell him that the shower is probably one of the most hazardous places to scare me. Taking a shower is dangerous enough in the first place. He'd really hate himself if I slipped and died. They'd ask him, 'How did she die?' and he'd answer, '...Something startled her in the shower.' And no one would ever know the truth. Years later, a curious reporter might review the police report and say to himself, 'It just doesn't add up...she demonstrated such good balance the last two years of her life. She did yoga..."
Then Daniel would have the curious reporter taken out by a hitman and the truth about my death would die with him...
Also, I have had a life-long fear of something bad happening to me when I am undressed. For example, I just don't understand why anyone would ever sleep naked. I mean, anything could happen. What if the house catches on fire and you don't have time to grab a robe before the flames engulf your body? You'd have to climb out the window without a shred of clothing, and the whole neighborhood would see you. And your naked, charred flesh.
Anyway...
He gets the biggest kick out of it.

Daniel also likes to start lots of projects.

He also takes really, really good care of me. Everytime I go out of town I come home to an extremely clean house and some surprise (which is followed by an awkward moment because I never know how to act when someone gives me something. And I'm just awkward.). It kind of makes me want to go out of town a lot.

I love him more than I love espresso, and in exactly one week, I will be married to this man three years. Three years I've survived shower attacks--that's pretty good, I think.

The Rainy Day

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

Peace to You

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted here. I have actually written two or three posts since July, but they were only partial and very uninspired. So I scrapped them. (As a side note, I just typoed [making up words here] "crapped" instead of "scrapped." Ha ha. Ho ho. He he.)
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I, for the first time in years, have taken the day after Thanksgiving off from work. This is a very big deal for me. Also a big deal: this year the holidays are approaching as quickly as ever, and as the days pass I am full of peace and joy. I think it may be due to the fact that I am actually taking time off from work. The knowledge that I have a stretch of days before me that I will have time to sit and rest, feast, play, celebrate, and love without the interruption of work fills me with excitement!
In December Daniel and I are going on my first ski trip ever with his family in Pagosa Springs, CO. I am so excited to play in the snow. Several days ago Daniel's mother was describing to me their struggles with traversing through snow storms during past trips. I can't even imagine that much snow! What does a snow storm look like?
For some reason the mention of snow storms makes me think of the early scenes in The Empire Strikes Back. That snow beast/whatever the heck it was really scared me as a child. Absolutely terrified me.
But I will not let my fears of snow-space-alien-abominable-snowmen keep me from enjoying the snowy mountains of Colorado.
I will most definitely be documenting the trip with pictures. There will be evidence that I saw snow, and made a snow angel, and wore skis. I don't know yet whether or not I will actually be able to ski. I'll get back to you on that one.
Apparently Pagosa Springs is a neat little town in Colorado, so one evening Daniel and I will slip away for a fancy dinner in town to celebrate our THREE YEAR anniversary.
I can't believe we have been married three years! They have been a few great years, and only getting better. You know, like a fine wine.
And he's stuck with me for-ev-er! Mwahahaha!

I don't think anyone is actually reading this blog anymore, but I hope today you are enjoying the holiday preparations, and I pray that your Thanksgiving celebrations are filled with joy and gratitude to our Great Heavenly Father for His innumerable blessings. And I pray that He gives you the patience to endure my long, long sentences that don't make much sense.
If you are reading this, you are probably (maybe) someone very special to me--and I am thankful for you!

Who Am I?

Can you name this character?

Holy Cannolli!

http://www.bakerella.blogspot.com/

Ohhhh myyyy.

I'm on this whole healthy eating thing.

I just want to say--it is difficult to live with someone who doesn't have to eat healthy. While Daniel is enjoying his chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream I'm trying to control my sugar cravings with a glass of skim milk (which actually works, surprisingly). I'm not a total stickler. Usually on the weekends I'll allow myself to a few treats or a drink or two. But I'm determined to live a healthy life. For the children.

I've never been a huge fan of vegetables, but I have actually found some fun recipes. For example: two nights ago I sliced some green and yellow squash length-wise (a julienne slice), spread it on a cookie sheet, sprinkled a bit of salt and pepper on it, and stuck it in the oven for a few minutes at 300. It was a hit! Daniel and our guests ate every last one of them.

Baked squash fries?

Tonight I'm having a couple of girls over to bake and decorate some cupcakes. We are having a little farewell party for one of our co-workers who is moving away. Hopefully I'll be able to manage the temptation of cake and frosting that I will have before me. But...I have to taste-test everything right??

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cluady326/2766855757/

In other news: there was a solar eclipse in Hong Kong yesterday! There are a few people on Flickr that posted photos. Neat.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/24367308@N05/3745698013/

What to do, what to do?

What to do when Daniel's not around?
There's nothing like ironing pillowcases and singing Gershwin at the top of your lungs! At least, I've heard some people like to do that.

The girls at work like to call Wednesdays "Hump Day," but because I'm four I have trouble saying things like that. So I stick with "Half way through the week!" or "Wednesday."
This is one of those weeks that felt like Monday and Tuesday dragged on forever, but then suddenly it's Wednesday and today it feels like the week is flying by.

I've been listening to a lot of Michael Buble, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Nat King Cole, and the like and I keep picturing myself dancing around a club in Casablanca with Daniel. Our church meets in the same building where they offer dancing lessons in the middle of the week and I've seriously been considering attending a lesson or two and seeing what I think. I actually got DG to agree to go with me some time...so we might actually do it! About 3 or 4 years ago Daniel told me he was getting me dancing lessons for my birthday...and I'm starting to think he just told me that because he forgot my birthday...

Speaking of dancing, we are going country dancing this weekend. That's not really what I picture when I think of dancing. I'd like to waltz or rhumba or something. But country dancing means you have to listen to country music, which frankly, I don't particularly enjoy. Plus, at most of these country dancing joints they serve two drinks: water and beer. And I don't drink beer.
But Daniel seems excited about going, so I'll go. I guess.

I have to savor every moment this weekend, because next weekend my days all belong to my employer. I'll be in Biloxi at a casino for a freakImean HAIR show. That's always interesting. It will be my first time in a Casino (besides the little ones they have on cruise ships), and it will be the first time I ever remember visiting Mississippi.

M-I-S-S
I-S-S
I-P-P-I!

I'll take a few pics of the place (although cameras are NOT allowed inside hair shows. Don't ask).

I'm going to go watch a girly movie or something. All by my lonesome.

Peace to you and your household.