August 13, 2008

I have issues.

This morning was my first day at Armstrong McCall. It's going to take me a while to learn the switch board.
I'm going from transferring calls to about 15 people to transferring them to over one hundred. It stressed me out a bit, to say the least. But I didn't lose my cool...although I may have accidentally hung up on about 4 people.
Of course I got a handfull of stories from the charming Andrea (pronounced ahn-dray-uhh, not ann-dree-uh, with a little hispanic accent), who was training me.
First of all, she told me, Don't be afraid of Neil. He's the president. And he comes off a little rough at first, but that's just the way he is. Don't take it personal.
What do you mean 'rough'? I inquired.
Well, she announces, for example, the first time he ever talked to me, he scared the sh*t out of me! He comes up to the front desk and says, 'Did Ted call for me?'
And I said, 'No, I'm sorry.' And he just goes off, "!%$?#! I can't @$%&king get a hold of &%$#ing Ted! Where the hell is that *%&$ing guy?!'
But no worries, she says, he's totally harmless! A really nice guy...with a language problem.

And then there's the guy who takes 'no less' than 17 smoking breaks a day, and has been getting his department in trouble for working overtime because he's always outside smoking.
Apparently the girls are planning some sort of sting-operation that, Ahn-dray-uh assures me, I want no part in and neither does she.

She also really likes Lean Cuisine Paninis.
So we have something in common.

I really enjoyed the 4 hours I worked there this morning. I'm looking forward to feeling more settled. I hate being that new girl.
In 8th grade I was the miserable new girl at HCCSA. Still scarred.
But the next year Christi came, and she was new, and I also loved her with all my heart. True story.

I left the house at 6:45 this morning in order to make it to work on time (I had to get gas too!), and I was a perfectly punctual 5 minutes early. Oh, and I work in Egypt, which is a pretty far drive from little ol' Cedar Park. In approximately 45 minutes I will have worked a 9 hour day, and I will continue to work on this schedule through next week. Fun.

Tonight Fletcher and I have a date: we're going to a private, expensive, one-hour, expensive training session at PetSmart that's expensive.
Let me explain.
On Saturday Daniel and I went to PetSmart with the intent of buying a bark-collar for the dogs. Particularly Fletcher. He's had some serious problems with barking a shrieking bark when we put him outside or left him alone. I hated the idea of putting a shock-collar on my precious poopy, but we had tried (almost) everything to make him stop.
We walked over to the appropriate aisle in PetSmart and found all of the shock-collars locked behind glass. Here's why: we had to go find an associate to open the case for us--and he did more than that. He asked us why we were getting a shock-collar? and when did he bark? and what exactly we had done to remedy the situation before resorting to torture collar-training.
We answered all of these questions, and just as I thought he was about to hand us the collar that he was withholding from us in a death-grip, he said, I'd like you to talk to Marti, our trainer first. Ah, here she is now!
*Marti appears with her trusty border-collie striding obediently by her side*
Marti was special. She had a soft, soothing voice, sparkly eyes, and her whole aura said peace, love and harmony to me. I sat there like a dolt, totally reeled in by how well she seemed to know Fletcher and what he was going through, even though she'd never met him.
In the end, we determined that Fletcher had emotional problems, including (but not limited to) separation anxiety and...


And therefore, she needed to see him in a single private lesson for the smashing deal of only EIGHTY BUCKS, and after that he would be fit as a fiddle. Well, she didn't exactly promise that. She made it clear that I would have a lot of homework to do after her magic lesson.

She informed me that this was a better alternative than resorting to utter brutality the collar-training. Then she looked at me with those peace-like-a-river eyes of hers and handed me a pen, Sign here.
We bought the collar (if we keep our receipt, once he's trained we can return it for a full refund!).
And we bought the lesson, hook, line, and sinker

1 comment:

  1. I have three collars (THREE) for my dogs. Not for barking, but to keep them in the yard. My lab can jump a six-foot fence and the others destroy gates to follow her. Maybe Marti does house calls in Las Cruces....