Crisp and Cool

After days of sweltering heat followed by a long stretch of gloomy days, I was pleasantly surprised when I woke up to a crisp, cool, clear morning. The air has just barely turned cool enough to bite your skin ever so slightly. It smells clean and fresh.
I moved around the house this morning opening dusty windows and breathing deeply.

So much has happened since my last post!
For one thing, I quit my job.
Now, I'm a happy housewife. I spend my days cleaning and cooking and grocery shopping and going to Bible studies and taking Pilates classes and knitting (sort of). The dread and exhaustion that I had begun to feel before and after each day of work has been replaced with a quiet peace that seems to fill the house. I love it.
And Daniel loves it.
My job was not a terrible job, but for several months now my heart has been elsewhere. Thinking that I was wallowing in discontent, I treated it as a spiritual struggle that I had to overcome. I prayed about it day after day. Truly, my hope was that the answer would come in the form of motherhood. There was no question that I was going to stay home once I had a baby. But the months continued to pass. It became increasingly apparent that God, for the time, had (has) other plans for me.
In August, a series of events caused Daniel and I to pause and think. Daniel had long been encouraging me to put in my notice at work, but I always said no. For some reason, I believed I would feel guilty that I wasn't "contributing" to our income. I never questioned whether or not I would be bored. One thing that I do have is a passion for the little things. I love sorting through piles of laundry and washing dishes in warm soapy water and running the vacuum around the house. I love reorganizing closets and straightening up book shelves and tucking in smooth sheets.
But I was afraid. Afraid that without my additional income we would find ourselves in a bind. Through my thoughts and actions I was expressing my foolish reliance on myself and my ability to provide. But in August, I stopped. I took a week off from work. This will just be a trial, I told myself.
Five days at home was all it took to assure me that I was meant to be home. When I was home, cooking and cleaning, I felt a special kind of joy. Do you know what it is like to feel like you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do?
It was as if a great burden on my heart and mind had been lifted. I felt sure and certain, full of hope and confidence. I spent much of the week in prayer, asking God for wisdom and clarity.
The following weekend Daniel and I sat at a coffee shop and discussed the budget. It quickly became clear that God would provide and had been providing for a long time. The excitement was electric; both of us felt more and more sure that this was right.
On Monday I went in to work and put in my notice. I was a little nervous--not about my decision. Just nervous. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was met with words of encouragement and loving support from my boss and co-workers (although, there were a few that insisted I would be back in two weeks, begging for my job back because I'd gotten bored sitting at home). Two weeks dragged by slowly. Daniel's car broke down. But we didn't worry. We knew that God would provide.
Finally, on a Friday afternoon at 4:30 I left the office for the last time. It was a little weird. But exhilarating.

This Monday marks my third week at home, and I am in heaven. I wake up in the mornings in the arms of my husband, to soft sunlight. The mornings are not crazy and hectic, but peaceful and quiet. Every day is different, with its many tasks and commitments. One of my greatest joys right now is the freedom to say I'm available when I'm asked to serve. We are thriving with one vehicle. Daniel took out his nearly-new bicycle that has been collecting dust in the garage for nearly a year, and he rides to work every day. He loves it!
Although I have a big, bad case of baby fever, I am content where I am now. I am savoring this sweet time with my husband and enjoying the kind of freedom we have.

My focus and my goal and my joy is to be a good wife, supporting and loving my husband. I am organizing and nesting and creating. And I hope, some day soon, to bring a beautiful baby into a peaceful, joyful, God-glorifying home.

I'm happy.

Best Kind of Busy

As you may have noticed, if you still hang around these parts, updating the blog has taken a backseat in the life of this blogger. I haven't even had time to visit my favorite blogs and leave silly comments!
I'm not too bothered by it, though. While I've not been blogging, I've been spending time with my family. My family that lives overseas in the far away land of Slovakia, shining the light of Christ through lives of service and love. Though I absolutely, without a doubt, fully and happily support this great work they've been called to, my-oh-my do I miss them. Last week was pure heaven for me. My entire family was under one roof, inhabiting my house and bringing joy to my heart!
My brothers are becoming men more and more each time I see them. I'm so impressed with their maturity and kindness--and the fact that they are hovering over 6' now. It further confirms to me the grace of God in the lives of my family. My parents have taught us the meaning of seeking to know and serve the Lord.
By now my dad is back in Slovakia, my mom and brothers are still here. Last night my brothers and I ate dinner at Galaxy Cafe, consumed a massive amount of frozen yogurt, rocked out to music in the car, and laughed a lot. Next weekend my mom will be back in Austin and I can hardly wait. They may look to you like an ordinary family (well, maybe not), but underneath that normal exterior (ha) they are the best, most wonderful people currently living. And I am just lucky to be related to them. I think sometimes their fantastic-ness rubs off on me. I hope.
I have some fun pictures on my camera, but when I go home and my brothers are there I can't bear to sit at the computer and upload pictures. Soon enough, though it pains me to think of it, they'll be gone and there will be time for all of that. I might also roam aimlessly around the empty house and walk through the rooms where they stayed. I might be a little melodramatic. I might cry. I might have done all that already when they left on Sunday afternoon. Possibly.
I hate saying goodbye.

But we're not going to talk about that right now.
Right now, I'll tell you that my presence around here might continue to be scarce for a couple of weeks as I soak up as many precious moments with my favorite people on earth as I can.

Right now, I'll also tell you that I'm listening to the Jon Foreman station on Pandora every day and loving it.
Right now I'm thinking about the fruits of the Spirit, and praying that today the fruit that my life brings forth is a witness to the hope I have in Christ. A witness that my Source of life is the Spirit.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

Grace Upon Grace

My dear friends, I have been indisposed in the most dreadful of ways.
Forgive me.

It has been a long but short week. My life over the last seven days is a dreadful blur and a crisp, clear nightmare all at once! But I am well. I am alive. I am loved and blessed and amazed and thankful and happy and joyful and pensive and foolish and silly and different and new and the same as I ever was.
Yesterday was my first day out of the house in several days.
I went to work and then went home. I was very tired due to all that I had been through in the previous several days, but I felt good. This weekend was daylight savings, giving me an extra hour of sunshine in the evening after getting home from work.
I went outside on the back porch, stretched out on the warm pavement and watched my stinky dogs roll in the dirt. I also saw Spring.
I looked up at the gorgeous blue sky and smelled the growing buds and blooms on the trees and felt like I was in heaven. We stayed outside for quite some time.
I'm not sure why, but something possesses my dogs around this time of year. They don't really do it at any other time of year. But in the warm weather they can't resist rolling their tubby little bodies in the dry dirt.
So I sat on the steps with a brush and waited for them to get within grabbing distance so I could scoop them up and brush the leaves and grass out of their hair.
They loved it.
And then they'd scamper off just to roll in the dirt again.
It was so fun.
Daniel came home and I realized it was nearly 7:30. I couldn't believe how quickly the evening went by!
My mind was in such a sweet place all evening. I know it had something to do with the sunshine and the cool, fresh air.
We decided to head over to Clarksville for dinner and dine alfresco at Zocalo under the twinkle lights.
I piddled around so much that we ended up at Zocalo around 9 PM for a late dinner. We treated ourselves to a couple of frozen Sangrias and went to sit outside but it was too chilly for us! So we sat in the nearly empty indoors at a small white table simply decorated with glowing candles and fresh flowers in a small vase.
For a while we sat and ate and drank while my husband charmed me and made me smile and sigh contentedly. Meanwhile I admired his handsome face and touched his hands and thought how much I like his wavy hair. He's so dashing.
It was such a beautiful night!
Being in Clarksville in the beautiful Texas Spring is so magical to me. It is such a quiet place, despite the fact that it sits right in the middle of the city. The houses are small and quaint and old. People are walking everywhere and the streets are lined with old-fashioned markets, gardens, a quiet coffee shop, and romantic restaurants with twinkling lights and vines crawling on the walls. Sometimes an old TV repair shop will play movies projected on their building wall in their parking lot. It is a neighborhood Daniel and I often haunt during the warmer months.
I felt a sweet peace and quiet deep in my heart and I sighed many a contented sigh.

After dinner we drove over to Central Market for some plastic bags and a bottle of wine, because we're romantic like that.

It was getting late, so when we got home I slipped into bed. Sunday evening I slept horribly because my mind would not quit. Every time I closed my eyes I relived something terrible and I couldn't rest at all.
So last night I asked Daniel to read Scriptures to me as I went to sleep. He read, and we wondered briefly to each other why Jesus put his spit on people on different occasions in the Bible. Neither of us could really think of any good reason.
And then I went to sleep, safe in the arms of my love.

"For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace."

John 1:16

Taking A Break.

Today on my lunch break I decided I needed to take a break (possibly permanent) from Facebook. I claimed it was for Lent. But it's not really.
However, it will be like fasting. Because I like Facebook in some ways! A LOT.
But the cons began to outweigh the pros.
I know this must all sound very ambiguous. Bottom line is: I feel really, really good about the decision.

I'm also hoping that I'll be spending more time here now that I have one less internet distraction.
I enjoy writing! And I love reading blogs. I really love reading blogs.

Life, since the beginning of the year, has "gotten in the way" of blogging. I've been struggling with low spirits due to a number of things, and when I'm low, I don't like to blog. Or write. Or be social. Or do anything really.

But God is good. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is Truth "...and in His word do I hope." It is truly amazing to me when I recognize the times when God has shown Himself to me through people and situations. Times where a word or a gesture is so exactly what I needed at that moment or on that day.
It is so humbling to realize, sometimes much later, how tender His mercies are. I am overwhelmed to think of the great care He has taken to carry my burdens when they become too much for me. I have felt His comfort so near and so real, and my heart and faith are strengthened!

On another note, the weather here is amazing today.
Yesterday it SNOWED--which was odd. And today it is sunny and 60. Not a cloud in the sky.
I would like to be at Pedernales Falls today climbing around the rocks. But I need to be at work, making the big bucks and saving for someday. So here I am.

Happy Weekend!

I'll leave you with a little Grace.